26.07.02 - 12:36 am

tonight i became overwhelmed by the need to be somewhere other than i was. where i was: inside a large building with hardwood floors, folding up one of 300 chairs. where i needed to be: outside, under the moon. the coworkers understood. i said, i can't deal with being in here anymore to them and they nodded and i took the cart and headed to do work elsewhere, but on the way i became compelled. i understood as soon as i left the building and saw the moon why i had needed to leave the building. a few moments later i found myself squatting in the grass peeing and staring at the moon.

my thought process before i peed in the grass was somewhat mindlessly insane, i mean, i don't even know if there was a thought process. i think it was a direct command from one part of me to another, a primal throwback brought to me in words from deep within: what you need to do right now, elly, is piss outside under the moon and so i was. real bathrooms were very within reach, but they were filled with incorrectness, filled with electricity, porcelain, that which is white and molded by man.