04.07.02 - 3:16 pm

i have welcomed the heat into myself. i am made of salt and water. i am the ocean. sitting on the pavement in the sun i am the ocean. barefoot i am the ocean.

in the night, i became placid. a breeze collected me and bore me down upon your cooling skin. time lost me, misplaced me, and i pressed my palm against your nipple, wanting and feeling shame.

you can't talk. i try to talk to you about it. i've never met a creature like you and i spend much of my free time dreaming about your complexities. i have been with men like you before, who don't talk, who ferret knowledge away from me, but they didn't know what i was after. it wasn't concious. they were people that i made into problems to entertain myself during years when i needed to have problems.

you aren't a problem at all. you receive me in silence. you teach me of silence. i try not to wait around for the next revelation, but i guess i am.

sure, i'm ovulating. i am being cradled by the whole world. i have said that a few times in the past few hours. a few nights ago he held me in one arm and made me come with the other. i have been meaning to write it down, to write down that i am loved, to write down that i am a beautiful spirit surrounded by beautiful spirits, to write down that my work is smaller than my life, that my life holds all lives. i have been meaning to say that i told her about jupiter in our dark tent, that later i kissed her, that she is catty, that she lives here and that i am jealous of her but also pleased to be older than she is, pleased to kiss her stomach when she shows me her scorpio rising.

i have been meaning to write down that i wish i could live a million lives, that i wish i could devote myself fully to a million different people, to follow them, to know what it is to fully love and explore them. i have been meaning to tell you, every one of you that i've said that to, said "if there wer fifty of me i'd send one of me with you, forever," been meaning to tell you that i did. i am. i live every life. i am with every person.