2001-10-11 - 2:07 a.m.

i feel loved.

here's why:

i rode my bike around with yeti, in the panhandle of golden gate park. everytime i started to get freaked out, because i don't really know how to ride a bike, he'd be right there on his bike, saying: you're alright. you're doing good. you got it.

then, at home later, after he'd gone to his own place to sleep, i took a bath. in the bath, i used bubblebath handmade by shane and shannon and given to me as a gift. then i remembered that my friend matt's wife pam had given me a present of homemade soap too, and i found it where i had carefully stacked it in my medicine cabinet. i used the little loofah she gave me to scrub with the good smelling soap in the goodsmelling bath.

when i got out, all warm and clean, i put on some cozy polar fleece pants that domini made for me a while ago. they're fuzzy and warm with panels of velvet.

surrounded by these handmade gifts i feel taken care of and carried by my friends, even though they are far.

now i will sit here and work on work given to me by my mother, for a small company, for a nice person. tomorrow maybe my friend lisa will call me about some work she found for me too.

things feel gentle and manageable.

...

today is the first day in over a week that i've seen anyone besides peter. and it was an accident.